Stumbling Upon "The Fishing Secret"
How a day that went sideways turned into a life lesson we will never forget. Plus, a recipe as comforting as a 6 second hug. We call it "Mothers Teet."
“Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. ....get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”
-Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel
When we decided to take this journey, we made ourselves a promise that we would say “yes” to any plan that would maximize our time with friends and family before leaving. We’ve largely kept the promise, and have reaped the rewards of doing so. The knowledge that we’re leaving soon has amplified the fun, softened the tender moments, and extricated the real talk. The scarcity of our time here in Miami has made the simple feel sacred. Saturday farmer’s market days, beach evenings, and hanging out by the pool are not time fillers, but opportunities to look around and marvel at the incredible wonder that is life. As we get ready to hit the road, this miracle of being an ordinary human family on planet Earth in the Milky Way galaxy is coming much more into focus, as if our spirits are preparing for a big change before our conscious minds can even grasp it.
We are also making the most of our work days when the kids are at school. This alone time is probably the thing we are going to miss the most, besides our family and friends. So we are aprovechando (which is a nicer way of saying “taking advantage of” in Spanish) this solo time. We are getting in good physical shape for what we know will be a taxing journey ahead. We’re exploring, ideating, and tinkering on some new, exciting startups. And of course, we are working on Earth Parade.
We spend most weekends going on little adventures in or around Miami, and it was during one of these adventures that we stumbled upon “The Fishing Secret.” We didn’t know this secret prior, or even the existence of such a secret, and the way we discovered it happened in a way that left us pleasantly surprised.
It all started with a trip we've been looking forward to for more than a year: a day of backcountry fishing in the Everglades with Dana’s beloved father, David, and our trusted Captain Nestor. This has become a bit of a family tradition that our boys are finally old enough to take part in. This was meant to be the first time we would take them on an all-day boat trip. We were all so excited that I don’t think anyone slept a wink.
We set our alarms for 4:32 am on a Sunday morning and got up while it was still pitch black outside to make egg salad and tuna salad sandwiches. We packed a cooler full of ice with blood orange San Pellegrino soda waters, kids' juice boxes, and a couple of IPAs. The plan was to carry the kids out of bed and let them keep sleeping on the 100-minute drive to the Flamingo Marina in the heart of the Everglades. David pulled up to our house at 5:55 am. We walked out with the cooler, and as we greeted him with groggy eyes, he got an unexpected text. It was Capt. Nestor was letting us know that he had a stomach bug and would not be able to lead us on a fishing expedition that day. So we let the kids sleep in and sat in our living room at 6 am, scrambling to find a new captain with a boat that would fit us all. We made a bunch of calls and sent out some texts, but unfortunately, nothing materialized.
When our eldest woke up an hour later, we broke the news to him, and he started crying. “But I wanted to catch a triple tail,” he screamed as his face turned red and tears came out of his tired eyes. We told him that it probably wouldn’t happen today, but we would try to do something fun instead.
We then remembered that we were in South Florida. We did not need a Captain or a boat in order to fish! We also had an insane number of sandwiches that needed to be eaten, so we invited our brothers and sisters to join. We picked up our daughter, who was too young for the boat trip but could handle a land-based excursion, and made an impromptu plan.
We ended up driving to a local fishing hole in Blackpoint Park, set up our rods, waited, and unfortunately caught nothing. We had a few nibbles but nothing serious. After a couple of hot and sweaty hours, we assumed we were in a bad spot or that the smelt we were attaching to our hooks was the wrong bait. We were doubly dejected. We told the kids that fishing is a process of learning and experimenting, and sometimes you don’t catch right away. The kids were visibly upset and cranky as we fed them another tuna sandwich to prevent the “hangriness” from taking hold.
We decided to change some of the variables and drove to Biscayne National Park, where we hoped to have more luck. When we got to the ranger station, they said there were still 30 minutes left in the “fishing clinic,” which meant there were some rangers with bait on the dock with free fishing rods for anyone to use.
We ran to the water, and on the boardwalk that extends into the Atlantic Ocean, we met Ranger Frankie, who was chopping up squid and rigging the rods for the kids to fish. He patiently put a little piece of squid on the hooks for us and showed the kids new casting techniques. Instantly, we were catching Spanish mackerel and jacks. The kids were beyond stoked, competing with one another for who would catch the biggest or the most fish.
Given that we were catching small fish in a protected area, it was catch-and-release. And boy, did we milk those 30 minutes. The fish were biting, and each of the kids got a chance to reel in and release some fish.
And then something unexpected happened.
Ranger Frankie told the kids to pause all fishing activities so that he could tell them the “fishing secret. ” We had no idea what he was talking about. Was this some kind of new trick for catching fish, some kind of special bait, or perhaps a clandestine fishing spot? He walked 20 feet down the boardwalk, found a shady spot in the mangroves, and asked all the kids to huddle around him.
When they all finally got quiet, Ranger Frankie whispered to the kids
“Are you ready to learn the ‘fishing secret?” The kids uniformly exclaimed “Yeeesss.”
Then Ranger Frankie took a deep breath and smiled. In a hushed, gentle voice with a thick Miami accent, He said, “The fishing secret is this. It’s not about how many fish you catch. It’s not about the size of the fish you catch. In fact, it’s not even about catching fish at all. The fishing secret is that the time, this time, that you’re spending with your family and friends outdoors in nature, is what actually matters. Fishing actually has nothing to do with catching fish. So if you’re enjoying, laughing, telling stories, and connecting with each other and the water, that is the fishing secret.”
There was something about the sincerity in his voice and the soft-spoken way he delivered those words that made the adults' eyes well up. The kids actually listened to every word with zero interruptions, and we believe they internalized it. Our kids, having had the day plan change on them and then not catching fish for most of the day, we felt that they truly got it.
After learning the “secret,” the sun was starting to set, which meant the mosquitoes were on their way. So we gathered around our truck with our kids and brother and sister, ate the now soggy leftover, yet surprisingly delicious, egg salad sandwiches, washed them down with ice-cold drinks, and marvelled at our fortuitous encounter with Ranger Frankie. We drove out of Biscayne National Park just as the skies turned pink with fishy hands, happy hearts, and hopefully, wiser souls.
Isn’t the “fishing secret” applicable to pretty much everything in life?
It certainly feels relevant to what we’re doing with Earth Parade. We set this goal of seeing 73 threatened species in the wild, and we imagine we will be happy if and when we reach that goal. But we know that true fulfillment comes from the challenges we overcome, the learning we acquire, and the bonds that we build on the way. As humans, we tend to attach ourselves to outcomes, and struggle to enjoy the process even as we know rationally that this is the key to a happy life. Ranger Frankie’s “fishing secret” was a parable for life itself, and a gentle reminder that time spent with loved ones in nature is always time well spent.
What we’re reading:
Jaron wrote an essay and film review of the controversial Israeli-Palestinian documentary “No Other Land” and the only Miami Beach cinema that dared to screen it, O Cinema. The essay explores the themes of free expression, censorship, anti-Semitism, and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
Braiding Sweetgrass is a 2013 book by Robin Wall Kimmerer. It blends botany and Indigenous, Native American wisdom into a lyrical and fascinating collection of essays. This is one of the most beautiful and inspiring nonfiction books we’ve read in a while, and it is guaranteed to change the way you think about plants.
What we’re watching or listening to:
A Classic Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel interview about divinity, man, and meaning is available on YouTube from 1972. It’s crazy how relevant this talk is to the mad world we live in today, more than five decades later. “In a free society, some are guilty. All are responsible.”
Love on the Spectrum on Netflix has been making our souls happy. It’s a docuseries/dating show featuring the most endearing group of autistic people, looking for love and sometimes even finding it. We giggle and cry while getting to know these sweet characters.
What we’re listening to:
Telepathy Tapes Podcast is a fascinating look into research on people who experience nonverbal communication. This subject is fairly new to us, controversial in the science world, and potentially paradigm-changing. We have been hooked!
What we’re cooking:
Dana’s Pomodoro Pasta aka “Mother’s Teet”
DH: This is a beloved family recipe that has evolved based on my life history, the places I've lived, and the kids' ages/preferences. It has become a staple in our weekly rotation, and I’ve probably made it hundreds of times in different cities and countries.
Pomodoro pasta is one of the first things I ever genuinely loved to eat as a child. I was obsessed with the very simple Penne Pomodoro from a 90s Italian restaurant in Miami called Prezzo. IYKYK. I would order it each and every time we frequented that restaurant, as well as any other Italian spot. It has always been and often still is my number one choice at an Italian restaurant. I know it’s the most basic thing in the world, but when the ingredients are fresh and it’s made with love, there is nothing more comforting than a hot bowl of fresh pommodorro with perfectly al dente cooked pasta and a heavy dusting of parmigiano reggiano. Maybe it’s the 5.7% of Italian ancestry in me, or maybe because it was the first thing I learned how to cook on my own. Whatever it is, when it’s done right, it makes my soul sing.
It started when I was around 10 or 11 and would have sleepovers at my friend Natalie’s house. We would stay up late, and she would guide me in making her take on a tomato sauce which included canned strained tomatoes, a secret ingredient of cream of wheat, and a heck of a lot of mozzarella shreds on top. It was delicious and cozy, and I brought the recipe with me to college in my back pocket. That is where I discovered the iconic Marcela Hazan tomato butter sauce, which quickly replaced my childhood comfort classic and elevated it to new heights. This buttery onion-soaked sauce would become THE staple of my twenties and my way of quickly and easily impressing a crowd. To this day, we make it regularly and still struggle to stray away from it because we love it so much.
Later, while I was living with my sister Monica in Tel Aviv, she introduced me to her way of doing it, which involved lots of garlic and fresh tomatoes from the market. I loved it so much and craved it every night, and that's where it got coined as Mother’s Teet, because she would make it for me almost daily, and I was as happy as a baby suckling a warm bottle when we had it; we both were. It wasn’t until I was a new mom myself, exploring all the ways to feed my picky toddler, that my own recipe developed. I would remove tomato skins and add some sneaky leafy greens or pureed squash to get those veggies in. Over the years, my own recipe has become a hybrid of all of those experiences and has become its own new thing that is still known in our family as “Mother’s Teet” or just “Teet.”
Ingredients:
1 pack of Penne or any shape of pasta you like. We prefer Decceco or Rummo from the store-bought dry options.
8-10 tomatoes on the vine
6-8 cloves garlic, chopped
2-3 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Plenty of parmeggiano reggiano
salt and pepper to taste.
1/2 cup pasta water
A few leaves of chopped or julienned fresh basil last 5 min of cooking, and a bit more for garnish
*optional 1-2 tbsp grass-fed butter
*optional fresh mozzarella chopped
*optional add in spinach at the end
Method:
Prepare your ingredients first by peeling and chopping the garlic and putting it aside. Wash and halve the tomatoes. I like to remove the core by cutting around the top at a diagonal until it neatly pops out. I do that first to all my tomatoes, and then I halve them.
Heat a saucepan to medium. Add the olive oil and heat it for a minute or so, then add the garlic. Let the garlic get glossy and a bit caramelized until translucent. Do not let it burn.
Add the tomatoes skin side down. Add a generous sprinkling of kosher salt, a splash of water, cover, and simmer on low for 15-20 min. until the tomatoes are soft and the skins come off easily.
Carefully remove all the skins. I really don’t like tomato skins in my sauces.
With a wooden spoon, gently mash the tomatoes until they are broken down and resemble a sauce.
Let that cook on low-medium heat for 30 minutes to 1 hour, depending on how much time you have. The more time it cooks on low, the better, but if you are pinched for time, it will still be delicious with a 30-minute cooking time. Stirring occasionally and scraping off all the dry and reduced bits into the sauce as you go, continue to break down the tomatoes as much as you can until they are smooth and almost pureed. Taste and add salt and fresh cracked pepper to taste.
Sometimes, as a nod to Marcela, I’ll add a tbsp or two of butter to give the sauce a creamy, silky feeling. You can also add spicy red pepper flakes if you want a spicier sauce. Adding fresh basil in the last 5 minutes of the sauce’s cooking time will brighten up the sauce and give it that fresh herby flavor.
Cook your pasta according to the instructions on the package, and be sure to reserve about 1/2 cup of the pasta water to add to the sauce at the end (when you add the basil). I always save the pasta water and store it in the fridge for thickening sauces. Give that a good stir, and get your pasta ready.
While your pasta cooks, cut up some fresh mozzarella into small cubes.
When the pasta is done, toss it directly into the sauce, toss it well to ensure it all gets covered in that beautiful fresh tomato sauce. Then slowly add the mozzarella, but be sure to give it a chance to melt and slowly mix it in more so as not to get it all clumped into one area of the pot. Spread the cheese out evenly throughout and let it get “ooey and gooey”. Serve quickly to ensure that everyone gets that melty cheese, but be sure to wipe down the bowl before serving if you can.
Serve with grated Parmigiano Reggiano, a crack of black pepper, and fresh chopped basil for garnish.
If I don’t feel like eating pasta, I occasionally substitute it with Spaghetti squash, sautéed julienned zucchini, or some fried eggs, and the sauce works beautifully with those as well.
We sincerely hope you make it and enjoy! Please let us know if you do, we’d love to hear your thoughts.
Wassup shoutout! 💗
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