Learning to Be Homebodies
As we start preparing for the journey ahead, here’s how we’re learning to embrace the rhythm and rites of a home routine. And an update on our departure timing!
“Home, where my thoughts are escaping
Home, where my music's playin'
Home, where my love lies waitin' silently for me.”
-Paul Simon
It is sinking in that we are leaving on a long journey soon. Just as we were formulating our plans to get out of dodge, we finally hung our last piece of artwork in our living room, looked at one another knowingly, and divulged an uncomfortable truth. This truth, which came out almost as a confession, is that we both ironically feel more settled in our house than ever before. Is this the work of Murphy and his cynical law, conspiring with the universe to make it harder for us to leave? Or is it simply our own subconscious minds coercing us to absorb the benefits of stillness, harnessing energy to be better prepared for the journey ahead? Or maybe a bit of both? Or neither? Either way, considering all the instability and misery in the world, we feel especially grateful to live a perfectly mundane existence with a roof over our heads.
Knowing that we will soon be taking our home on the road has led us to reflect on the meaning and value of living in a stationary home with a routine oriented around the three dynamos we have brought into the world. As our window of being in one geographic location is rapidly closing, we’re doing everything we can to make the most of it. This awareness has given us a sharper focus and an abundance of attention to our immediate environment. How the white paint chips on the roof beams, the tone of a distant and faint train horn that sounds at the same time in the middle of the night, the moisture droplets that collect on the violet flower of a sky vine we planted, after an early morning rain shower.
The advantage of being in one place is being able to meticulously observe how it changes over time. Knowing one tiny place in the universe really well can bring comfort and deep wisdom. The other advantage is being able to build and nurture relationships with a group of people you love outside your immediate family, also known as community. The sense of familiarity and comfort we have with our extended family as well as our friend “grupo,” that rare set of friends who have spent decades together and yet somehow grow closer over time, is truly special.
So yes, it appears that just as we are getting ready to leave home, we’ve stumbled ass-backward into embracing the lost art of being homebodies. We cook, read books, and create. We swim, garden, and enjoy the great outdoors here in Miami's “winter.” So far, it’s been epic. We’ve had birthdays, bar mitzvahs, weddings, and major family milestones, including both of our father’s 75th birthday celebrations. A few weekends ago, we hosted a big sleepover party at our house with 11 kids. We’re still recovering from that one.
We’ve observed that this quotidian carousel we call our daily routine has both a rhythm and rites.
Wake up, get dressed, make breakfast, make lunches, teeth, drop off, work on our Substack/new ventures, house cleanup, miscellaneous repairs, pickups, after-school activities, bath time, dinner, storytime, teeth, bedtime, repeat.
The rhythm is something we can all relate to. It's a schedule we adhere to. A treadmill we willfully accept and jump on. A frenetic dance through our days. The other thing we can probably all relate to is that there are days or moments when you are not present but rather lost in your own thoughts or anxieties. Your body is in the rhythm, literally going through the motions, but your mind and spirit are elsewhere. Something suddenly snaps you out of it, and you realize you’ve been in zombie mode this whole time.
Avoiding zombie mode is difficult but possible. The challenge is how to remain plugged in during the routine to find or create moments of joy and connection. They require your presence and focus to be there. To invent the games, to notice something’s wrong, to simply sit back and be amused by the endless stream of shenanigans. But it's hard to stay focused and present constantly.
The obvious first step is to put the phone away or turn it off. The perhaps less obvious one is the breaking up of the pattern into “rites.” These are things that we celebrate. Milestones, however grand or tiny. Triumphs over adversity. Or just “firsts,” like cooking something new or tasting a fruit for the first time. Or climbing higher than ever in the ficus tree. Or a 5-year-old finally taking a dish to the sink after months of encouragement. If the rhythm of daily routine is the “yin,” then rites are the “yang.” They counterbalance and provide meaning to one another, like light and darkness.
The key to enjoying the rhythm is to break out of it. Rites are how we do that. They force you to pause, observe, and be in the moment. There are intervals to jump off the carousel and marvel that while things seem to be the same as last week or last month, they are not. Growth is happening. The daily schedule may be the same, but we are constantly evolving.
Our 3-year-old is learning how to swim. Our 5 year old learned how to ride a bike last week and is now learning how to bunny hop. Our 8-year-old is testing himself on new challenging Lego sets, taking pictures, and making nature videos. We are measuring ourselves on our physical growth chart, except for the adults, who will probably start growing in reverse soon ;). We are celebrating kids' birthdays and grandfathers' birthdays. These are all moments to savor as they’re happening. Pausing to notice them and celebrate them in real time elevates them from an ordinary achievement into into a sacred rite to behold!
Home, whether moving or stationary, is more than just a place where families spend time together. It’s a place of comfort and safety. It’s an idea, a mode of consciousness, and perhaps even conscientiousness, where rhythms and rites evolve into a family culture enshrined in love.
How do you identify your rites? For any parents reading this, pay attention to what your kid is learning right now. It doesn’t matter what it is: a sport, a dance, a new toy, or a game. Then, figure out what they're struggling with and what their goal is. If they don't have a goal, come up with one for them. Once they achieve it, that is another rite for you to celebrate. If they don’t achieve it, create a rite to celebrate the effort they put into it. Eventually, they will.
Speaking of rites, we haven’t forgotten about our family goal of encountering 73 threatened species in the wild. Here’s a quick update on our plans. As some of you may know, we were considering leaving Miami in March and heading south, but we’re having so much fun as recently converted homebodies that we’ve decided to leave Miami in June and go north instead. We’re deep in planning mode and will announce our itinerary in the weeks ahead.
Several other factors led to the decision:
Our kids are thriving in their schools, with their friends, and in their activities. So it will be a more natural transition for our kids to leave after the school year
We get to spend more quality time with dear friends and family
We feel that we have some more mental, physical, and spiritual prep work to do
Some things are easier to do from home than on the road, such as testing out art print fulfillment partners, logistical planning, and learning new processes, such as making custom wax seals.
Another delicious mango season!
More time in the Florida springs, swamps, and beaches that we love
We’ll be able to focus on new encounters with our favorite native species
We are tremendously excited to focus on some native Florida species that are not only living in peril close to us geographically but also near and dear to our hearts. We can’t wait to share some of the newest members of our Creature Catalog in the days and weeks ahead. We will also remain vigilant about the changing political tides and how they could impact all of us. We’ve seen significant reductions in basically every federal agency with an acronym, and while we all love the IRS (wink wink), we’re mostly concerned about key agencies protecting lands, waters, and species (ie. EPA, NOAA, FWS, and NPS). Here are some links to stay informed and help increase awareness. Also, in the spirit of “home,” we’re sharing a book recommendation, some Netflix and chill guidance, and a recipe or two below.
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What we’re reading:
- After years of devastating impacts on the marine environment in the Florida Keys, the long-awaited Restoration Blueprint for Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary from the NOAA is final, and you can read it in detail here. Assuming Governor DeSantis approves it and the NOAA survives the Trump administration, this is a massive deal for the fragile Florida Keys, as it will expand the protected marine sanctuary by 20% while adding 20 new wildlife management areas. There are also some regulations to prevent cruise ships from dumping waste on these delicate marine environments. (NOAA)
(Our take is that this is a critical move to protect seagrass beds and reefs, which will help sustain more nesting birds, sea turtles, and other threatened species. It’s a no-brainer that this should be passed. We took 30 seconds to send Governor DeSantis a friendly note as we are now in the 45-day window where he has the authority to approve or reject it. Here’s a form to contact the governor directly. You can also copy our note below!)
-Thousands of people were fired from the National Park Service last week. Consequently, things look pretty dire in one of our most popular parks, Yosemite. Chaos has ensued, and this can’t be good for the wildlife conservation efforts here and across the country. (SFGATE)
-Speaking of Yosemite, there’s a fantastic profile from fellow Substack writer Amanda Royal, on the bold work of Roland Knapp, who dedicated his life to saving a species we honestly had never heard of, the Sierra Nevada mountain yellow-legged frog. Read “The Ecologist Who Dared Love Yosemite’s Frogs.” (Substack)
Finally, a book recommendation. We can’t recommend highly enough A Walk in the Park - The True Story of a Spectacular Misadventure in the Grand Canyon by Kevin Fedarko. This is such an entertaining and interesting story of an attempt to traverse the length of the Grand Canyon by a National Geographic contributor who has spent much of his professional life studying it and doing rafting expeditions through it. Fedarko delightfully spoonfeeds you this exquisitely written, at times hilarious, deeply researched oral history of one of the most spectacular, treacherous, and least understood places on Earth. It is an ode to a geological and natural wonder and is especially relevant now due to the cuts in the federal agency protecting it.
What we’re watching:
-Blink Documentary - We mentioned this incredible doc last week about the Pelletier’s, who, when three of their four children are diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a rare and incurable disease that leads to severe visual impairment, embark on a trip around the world to experience all its beauty while they still can. They asked their kids to make a list of places they wanted to see or do before they potentially went blind. To say this film moved us is a massive understatement.
-Saturday Night Live's 50th anniversary has been fun to watch and a nice reprieve. It starts off with an amazing performance by Sabrina Carpenter and Paul Simon (at 83 years young!) of his classic song Homeward Bound, whose lyrics inspired our quote at the top.
You vs. Wild—We all love this interactive survival expedition show on Netflix, which features Bear Grylls. We make him eat live grub every time, and it never gets old!
What we’re cooking:
We’ve had many events and celebrations lately, so we have been asked to bring some sweets. Here are some easy ones that we made with things we had on hand. It felt good to save money and to take the time to make something from scratch instead.
Gluten and Dairy-Free Apple Cider Doughnuts!
These doughnuts from the minimalist baker have been on heavy rotation over here for the last few years. Our friend brought them to our baby’s first birthday party, and we fell in love with them and have been making them ever since. We managed to get the recipe from her doula, who graciously shared it with us. Not only are they gluten- and dairy-free, but they are also easy to make, and everyone loves them. They are great for school lunches as a little treat. Their warm fall flavor profile is perfectly spicy and not too sweet. We love them, so we figured we’d share the recipe with all of you. We hope you make them and enjoy them.
Pan Banging Chocolate Chip Cookies
Dana has been making these since 2016 and made them again the other night for a family dinner. After the last morsel was eaten, everyone became ravenous gluttons and began banging the pan for more. These giant, ripply, perfect cookies are always a hit.
Finally, we’re celebrating our first 60 days on Substack and are leaning into the little newsletter community we’ve built. We hope to hear from you all about what you’ve liked or disliked so far. How do you like this format? Should we stop everything and just bake cookies?
Thanks for your support,
Dana and Jaron
PS. Please don’t forget to write to Governor DeSantis about expanding the national marine sanctuary. Your grandkids will thank you.
